I hope you will consider donating five dollars
now to alleviate my financial difficulties.

My grateful appreciation goes to you if you already have.

    

23

FIGHT RIGHT   

Sean phones Rachel to tell her he invited Roxanne to the beach with them.

Popping an artery, "You did what!?"

"Think about it. Her ideas about you and Jeff are unfair, and may be dangerous. What better way to help her change her opinion."

"And what better way to get her back into your life, at my expense!"

"Do I hear some lack of self-assurance, Rachel. Are you gonna put a fence around me so I can't get away?"

"I want to. But you're right...on both issues."

"I seriously doubt that she'll come though. Maybe the invitation alone will soften her a bit."

"Maybe, Sean. But next time talk to me first, OK?"

"I agree. I didn't think of it though, until I was talking to her, and didn't want to pass up the opportunity. It felt urgent."

"I agree...now, my love." 


24

QUICK 'N SLICK  

The Cubs are relieved that Juan, the Cardinal ace, doesn't go to the mound to start the game. Soon it sinks in that they will have to face him later. Jeff walks to the plate realizing how important it is to get off to a good start. He feels the pressure, so he takes a deep breathe and tells himself to stay focused on what needs to be done. He carefully watches the lefty pitcher throwing warm-up pitches. Each time he pitches he falls toward the third base line. 

As Jeff steps into the batters box, he sees the infield playing for a bunt. He taunts them by squaring around into a bunt position. As the pitcher delivers the pitch, he quickly steps back, ready to swing away. He holds up but the pitch is called strike one. Now he crowds the plate in a hitting stance. They still play for a bunt. Again the pitch comes to the outside edge of the plate. Smoothly Jeff drops the bat into bunt position, bunting hard to the right side of the mound. The pitcher's momentum takes him away from the bunt. By the time he changes directions, the bunt rolls past him, as well as past the shallow first baseman. Alertly the second baseman had run to cover first base, but now watches the ball roll through his vacated position. With a sour look on his face, the short stop retrieves the ball in the shallow outfield. Seeing Jeff running for second base, he quickly turns, throwing the ball to the base in time to beat Jeff. The only problem being--there's no one covering second base, which is why Ricky, the current base coach sent Jeff to second. Now he continues to third as the ball continues into foul territory. Alex, the third base coach, frantically waves him on. The throw home is late and off-line. Score 1-0.

With the pitcher looking frustrated, Jose walks on five pitches. Michael laces into one to third that's caught. Jose dives back into first as the throw comes. Safe is the call. Karim walks on four pitches. After the coach talks to his pitcher, the first pitch to Fred comes down the middle. Upper cutting, Fred lofts a high fly to left. The left fielder runs hard but then watches it sail over the fence, to make the score 4-0! The coach replaces the pitcher, but not with Juan. He stops the rally cold. Pitching through two more innings, he allows no runs.

So Juan comes to the mound in the fourth, down only 4-3. After a quick strikeout, Jeff steps to the plate. The Cardinal coach instructs two outfielders to play infield, so that they have four infielders in regular position and two looking for a bunt, and a lonely center fielder. It sure makes sense--not many can hit a fair ball against Juan.

Jeff walks to the dugout fence. Sean says, "You have a quick bat. Take a strike; then swing away. Swing hard and see what happens." The first pitch is a blazing fastball in tight, called strike one. This scares Jeff; thinking that ball could really hurt! Then he remembers to just focus on what he has to do. Another scorcher, but heading to the outer half of the plate. Jeff swings a little late, but hard, lifting it lazily down the first base line. The first baseman steps back and jumps but the ball goes over his outstretched arm. He looks down and sees the ball hit the foul line. 

Jeff speeds around first base, as the first baseman and center fielder race to the ball. As Jeff races past second, the shortstop moves all the way to the first base line, to relay the ball home. Jeff gets a green light at third, as the shortstop receives a good throw, then fires the ball perfectly to the plate. Glancing at the ball, Jeff immediately stops in his tracks. Jeff would have been a dead duck, as the catcher handles the throw cleanly. 

Jeff scampers back to third, watching the eyes of the third baseman. Sensing that the catcher has thrown the ball, Jeff stops and hightails it to the plate again. The third baseman hastily catches the ball and throws home in the same motion. Jeff slides into home as the catcher makes the tag. However, the ball had slipped out of the third baseman's hand and the catcher merely tried to fake Jeff into stopping again. With the score 5-3 the Cubs can afford to give up one run in the Cardinals last three times up.

Juan doesn't get rattled, striking out Jose and Michael. For the Cubs, Karim takes over at the mound. Facing the bottom off the order, he gets the Cardinals one, two, three.

Karim leads off in the fifth. He had been practicing on fastballs at the batting cages. Yet he strikes out. Now he restrains himself from slamming down his bat. Fred steps in, deciding to crowd the plate. A fastball will not intimidate him. Juan, likewise not to be intimidated, sends a letter-high blazer for the inside corner. It tails inside, hitting Fred's jersey as he turns away from the pitch. The umpire instructs him to take first base on the hit-batsman. Fred hustles to first, even if it looks like slow motion.

Ricky, likewise, comes to the plate confident, to Sean's delight. After two strong swings, he knows now to protect the plate. The next pitch is outside enough to take for ball one. Guessing that Juan doesn't want to hit him too, he looks away. Sure enough it might be outside but to close to let go with two strikes. Just going with the pitch he lines the ball over the second baseman's head into the gap. The center fielder hurries the ball in, so Fred is held up at third base on Ricky's one out double.

Realizing that he's now pitching to the bottom of the order, Juan fires pitches down the middle, not wanting to risk giving up a run on a passed ball. In three pitches he strikes out Clyde, and Roy likewise, leaving the runners stranded. Sean's comforted in the thought that they, at least, are near the top of their order for the last inning.

But now the Cardinal's have their top for the bottom of the fifth. They get psyched, as they know this is their best shot in getting back into the game. Three runs would give them the lead. The leadoff hitter grounds back to the pitcher. Karim tosses to Jose for an easy out. Then a double follows back-to-back singles. Trying to stop the tying run from scoring, Michael smoothly grabs Alex's throw and fires home. Blocking the plate with one foot, Fred receives a waist high throw. Applying a two handed tag, Fred thinks, "I got him!" Showing the umpire the ball in his mitt, the call is, "You're out!" The Cubs scream ecstatically, as the Cardinals feel crushed.

Sean goes to the mound to talk to Karim. He's been blessed with a third string pitcher, Jose, who does well under pressure. But he decides to stay with Karim. A hard grounder to second, hitting a rut, bounds over Jeff's glove into center. Tie score. The batter advances on the throw home, putting the go-ahead run at second.

Sean makes the pitching change. Realizing that Jose may want to pitch too carefully to the sixth hitter with weaker hitters following, Sean let's Jose know that a walk would also guarantee seeing the top of the order in the last inning. Jose gets him to ground routinely to second. Jeff stumbles, but grabs the ball and tosses to Karim at first for the third out.

"Trying to give us heart failure, eh," Sean says to Jeff in the dugout.

Smiling, "Yup!"

Giving him a hug, "Way to stay with it. Jeff, you're up second this inning. Now we need a run to get the lead back."

"Sure thing, Sean," Jeff replies as he put on a batting helmet. With one out the Cardinals play their regular positions for Jeff. Bewildered, Jeff looks at Sean.

"They'll give you first base, no more," Sean hollers, but then mouths out, "Look for high pitches." Jeff nods that he understood that. They had talked long ago about the strategy of pitching high to a bunter. High pitches are harder to bunt. Of course, high fastballs are real tough to bunt.

The first pitch is high, ball one. The next is high, ball two. The next comes down the middle, strike one. The next, with Jeff pulling back his bunt, is just to high, ball three. Juan grooves another fastball, Jeff taking all the way, strike two. Another blazer comes well into the strike zone, with Jeff half-swinging a foul ball toward the dugout. Four more fastballs turn into half swing foul balls. Looking flustered, Juan throws a change-up in the dirt that the catcher fails to block. Jeff hustles to first base on the walk, then is waved to second. The catcher throws to second, but no one covers in time. Jeff continues to third. Again he gets waved on. Jeff doesn't try to look at the play behind him, as that would slow him down. Eyeing the catcher, he anticipates an off-line throw and scores standing up. Juan slams his glove down. His coach bangs his head against the fence repeatedly. The Cubs have the lead back!

Juan calms down, striking out Jose again. With two outs, Michael decides that Juan doesn't want him to get around on a pitch, so looks to the outer half of the plate. The pitch is there, but Michael fouls it back. Looking away again, he gets it, and gets all of it. Michael crushes it to the opposite field. Will it stay up there? Yes! Home run. Score 7-5. The Cubs have an insurance run.

In the bottom of the sixth, Jose knows to pitch strikes to the bottom of the order. A surprise bunt goes to Karim charging. He throws to Jeff covering first. The throw pulls Jeff off the base. Now a ground ball to first. Karim steps on first for the out and throws to second for a possible double play. The throw hits the runner and scoots away. The runner reaches third base standing. Sean tells Karim, "Good play!"

Karim says, "Yeah, right!"

"Really! One run means nothing to them. They need two. It was worth it to try for another out. Now we play for the easy out! Everyone. Get the easy out! On 0-2, Jose gets the batter swinging at a low pitch for strike three. Now there are two outs, but the top of the order. After two quick strikes, Jose tries to put extra on the pitch, but slips on the pitching rubber and the pitch hits the batter.

Sean makes sure the fielders understand that if they get the runner on first out trying to steal second, the game is over--no need to worry about the runner on third scoring. The 1-1 pitch gets hit hard up the middle. Jose deflects the ball in a fine fielding effort. Jeff quickly adjusts, fields the ball, and flips to Michael for the force out, ending the game. The Cubs go wild! The sorely disappointed Cardinals become gracious losers. 



25

FIGHT OR BE TIGHT?  

Jeff goes to Sean's house after school the next day. They can't stop talking about the game as they take a dip in the pool. Sean gets interrupted with a phone call. Answering the phone as he dries off, "Sean's Web."

"Hi Sean! It's Roxanne."

"Sounds like you're in a good mood."

"Yeah. I talked to a friend about you dating a nudist."

"Oh! Go on, Roxanne."

"Her response shocked me. She talked the same way as you."

"How about that!"

"Sean, it turns out she's a nudist too."

"Naturist."

"Whatever."

"So you're accepting my invitation!"

"No. No. No. I'm just not mad at you anymore. Well, I'm angry, but not about that."

"Roxanne, thanks for filling me in. Take good care of yourself."

After swimming some more, they both enter the shower together without a second thought. Sean then comments, "You get into this touchy feely stuff so naturally."

Proudly and pleasantly, Jeff replies, "Yeah, I'm a master."

"So you've had experience before me."

"Yes, Sean. I used to do this stuff with a friend on sleepovers. Not in the shower, but in bed."

"A friend your age then?"

"Yeah."

"Your idea or his idea?"

Lathering up Sean's penis, "That's hard to say. Sometimes I took things farther, sometimes he did."

"So, have you gone farther with him or with me?"

"With him. We would see who could pee the farthest."

With a straight face, "In bed!?"

"Dah, ya think! We did that in the woods. We liked talking about our penises, not to mention other body parts. We would see who could get hard the quickest. We would see who could get the other hard the quickest."

"With your hands?"

Soaping up Sean's booty, "Yeah. But eventually he had other ideas for the games that I didn't go along with."

"I won't ask for details. Is he OK with you telling others?"

"Well, no. But I didn't say his name."

"I won't ask, but I have a hunch I know who it is. I didn't mean to pry."

"I know. Now I'm wondering about you. I probably wouldn't know your friends, so you could talk freely."

"The peeing thing was pretty popular in my day. We did it in groups."

"Wow! You and me gotta do it!"

"Let's think about that some other time. I don't want to get sidetracked."

Disappointed, "OK."

"We'd occasionally see someone get hard in a bikini, but I was a bit older than you before seeing a naked erection."

"Tell me about that."

"I only feel comfortable talking about being your age and younger."

"Oh that sucks a big one!"

"Hang on to your, your... I don't expect that language from you!"

"Sorry. I've been hanging around with ... somebody too long."

Feeling close to Jeff again, Sean starts washing his penis, as he continues, " I saw plenty boys naked in locker rooms, but not privately. There were three boys that I got physical with in bikinis. One was limited to 'hands only' but all over. The second went beyond touching, involving a lot of hugging, especially bikini to bikini, eventually in every position we could think of. The last boy liked getting our mouths involved, but not mouth to mouth. He could be pretty persuasive--like you." Jeff smiles, as Sean continues, "Sometimes I got into it, sometimes I felt violated, even though it involved no sex, and he was younger than me."

"So he forced you!?"

"No, nothing that bad."

"So no nudity, huh?"

Running soapy hands all over Jeff's buns, "One sleep-over buddy slept naked, but I kept my underwear on. We got into fun wrestling sometimes. I wasn't comfy with feeling his penis, balls, or butt brushing against my skin. One morning I woke up with his hand deep into my underwear. I went ballistic! We no longer were friends after that."

"I guess you had no gay friends."

"These weren't, Jeff, but actually I had a lot of gay friends."

"I stayed away from the rough and tough, which brought me in touch with gays. But I wasn't the best friend to them."

"Why not?"

"We were great friends as long as they stayed in the closet."

"What! You caged them like animals!?"

Laughing hysterically, "Yup!"

"OK, give it to me straight, Sean."

Still laughing, "I can't. They weren't straight. "

Stepping out of the shower, Jeff says sternly, "Ha. Ha. Now get focused fool!"

Sean sarcastically replies, "Yes, teacher."

Impatiently, "Sean, we're having a serious discussion!"

Trying to stop laughing, "OK. OK.... It's just an expression. A closet gay is a gay that hides his sexual orientation from people."

"Oh. So that's where the expression 'coming out' comes from."

Laughing again, "Yeah, a lot of cumming."

With no nonsense, "Ha. Ha. So when a gay friend would come out of the closet, you would say, 'Good bye. It's been nice knowing you."

"More or less--a 'closet friendship' was fine by me."

"You suck, Sean! Oops."

"No, never did that."

"Stop being corny."

"I need to be--this issue hurts me."

"I see why--I never would dump Alex."

"So rake me over the coals! ... If you weren't so good at defending yourself, Jeff, you would be harassed for being gay--just for being friends with a gay."

"That's true."

"And gay-bashing was widespread in my day."

"Wimp."

Sean also steps out of the shower now. With his voice quivering, "Easy for you to say. I feel a lot of emotional pain. I need a hug badly. Can you do that for low-down scum like me?"

Now feeling bad for pressing his hero so hard, Jeff compassionately embraces Sean, squeezing his butt tightly.

Soon Sean sobs and keeps sobbing. With the towel he has, Jeff wipes away the tears, then kisses each of Sean's cheeks. Being finished drying himself, Jeff gently dries Sean's slender body. He then takes him by the hand, leading him into bed where they embrace.

"Thank you so much Jeff. You have a heart of gold."

"Yeah...after digging into your old wounds. Sorry that I expected you to be perfect."

"Everything feels perfect now."

Smiling as he grabs Sean's genitalia, "Yes, everything."

This praise feels especially wonderful, as Sean recalls his sense of inadequacy in his intimate equipment. Then, noticing the time, he realizes they better get dressed. Concerned again about confidentiality, "Jeff, please don't share our private moments with anyone, even anonymously."

"What's 'a bomb us Lee' supposed to mean?"

"We share stories without revealing names. That's anonymous, but not enough for me."

"Gotcha. Mum's the word."


26 

FLIGHT DELIGHT   

With spectacular weather Saturday, Sean drives Rachel and Jeff to Black's Beach. But Sean parks at the La Jolla Glider Port. Rachel asks, "What are you doing Sean?"

"It's early. Have you ever watched hang gliding?"

Jeff pipes in, "Yeah, we see them from the beach. Can we see them up close here?"

"Sure can."

Rachel says, "I could use a restroom anyway."

As Rachel goes in looking for a restroom, Sean points out the cliff to Jeff. "That's where they jump off. Are you interested."

"Sure, Sean!"

"Let's walk to the edge."

"But we don't have the gear."

"I didn't know you wanted gear when you jump."

"Of course I do."

"But this was your idea of a painless death."

Sullenly, "Oh, yeah."

"Before you jump, you have to look down at the beach below. You wouldn't want to land in the sand. You probably would survive that with lots of pain. You probably would be a quadriplegic the rest of your life."

Sadly, "Yeah."

"You want to land on rocks so your body splatters all o..."

Totally grossed out, "Sean, shut up already!"

"I sure will stop, Jeff. But it's important to think about your dark thoughts during your good times."

"Why?"

"First of all, that may help you remember the good times during your dark hours. Now let me ask you, can you make a commitment right now to never do anything to harm yourself."

Pleading, "I need time to think, Sean."

"OK, I'll drop it for now. But one more question. Can you make a commitment to trust God, that you can depend on him no matter how desperate you might feel in a given moment?"

"Sean, you're really laying it on me."

Holding Jeff's shoulder tightly, "OK, that's all, just remember, God made you, and..."

"God don't make no junk. I remember!"

"Good.... Look there! A girl's about to jump. She doesn't look much older than you."

"Wow! She's running for the cliff!"

Sean sees Rachel coming, "Rachel! Look!" All three of them watch the girl go over the cliff and disappear out of sight.

Jeff screams, "Oh no!" Soon the wind blowing against the cliff gives the girl upward thrust and they see her reappear, gliding through the air, using her skills with fine finesse.

Jeff exuberantly declares, "That is way cool! Let's rent some gear."

Sean asks, "Do you think you can handle the winds?"

"Sure! Look how easy it is."

"She may look like a beginner, but she has years of experience already, since she's hang gliding here. You need a high level of expertise before you're allowed here."

Rachel asks, "Do they ever have accidents here?"

"I'm not up on that, but I've heard stories of gliders taking nose dives and tail spins. Sometimes the wind dies down and they have to land on the beach below."

Still bubbling with excitement, Jeff asks, "Did you ever do it?"

"No. Never. Remember, I'm a wimp."

Smiling, "Oh yeah." Sean jabs him in the arm.

Rachel lays down the law, "Good, I couldn't stand seeing either one of you jumping off this cliff, or any cliff."

Whining, "But mom!"

"No buts! Or I'll kick your butt!"

Laughing, Sean interjects, "This I've got to see!" Now he gets jabbed by Rachel."

Jeff shouts, "Look! That guy's heading right for us. Where did he come from? He's so high."

"He jumped off the cliff like everyone else. If you catch the better wind currents, you can go pretty high."

"So they start here and then end here too?"

"Yup. Usually."

They watch the guy turn and make a graceful running landing. "That guy is smooth," Jeff observes passionately.

Seeing hang gliding as a threat to her son's safety, Rachel announces, "I'm ready to bare it all at the beach."

Sean takes the cue, "Me too."

Jeff sadly objects, "But we just got here."

Sean diplomatically suggests, "Now that you've seen a take off and a landing, you can better appreciate the hang gliders from the beach below." 



27 

GIRL PEARL  

As they settle in and get naked on the beach, Rachel confides, "I'm glad Roxanne didn't want to come. Call me selfish but that would have ruined the day for me.

Jeff gleams, "I wouldn't mind watching her take it all off for the first time, or anytime. She's hot! Hotter than even you."

"Jeff!!! I'm your mother! Stop that! Ruin my day anyway, OK?"

Seeking a diversion, Sean observes, "So, Jeff, you're getting more interested in girls."

"As a matter of fact, there's a transfer student that sits right in front of me at school. Talk about a precious pair of pompoms! " Rachel and Sean both admiringly chuckle as Jeff quickly grows erect. 

First, as his penis begins to rise, he sits up, deep in his chair. He has a memory pop into his head. Once, a four-year-old boy refused to remove his shorts at Black's Beach despite his mother's loving encouragement. After hours, Jeff noticed a spark in the boy's eyes and a big smile on his face as he reached into his shorts with a mission. Jeff thought that he had to pee real bad. Suddenly he stood up, triumphantly removing his shorts and underwear in one quick motion. His mother looked and gasped in shock. What had gotten into her? As the boy started walking proudly away from their chairs, Jeff noticed he had a tiny, tall erection. Twice, his mother started after him to stop him, but each time she shrugged off her embarrassment instead.

So now Jeff first reacts to his own arousal like this mother had. Then he decides that he likes the boy's attitude better, so he slouches back in his chair, spreading out his legs, looking proudly at his hard-on.

Pleased with Jeff's improved attitude, Sean smilingly says, "You're not in love with this girl, are you?"

With Jeff snapping back into the present, he realizes that Sean approves of his public display. Now he feels better yet, as he turns to his mother. He feels like he's in heaven as he sees her loving approval. "Oh, uh, no, I'm not in love. I just want to marry her."

"So you want to make your mother into a grandmother before age 25."

Smiling, "How's that sound, Mom?"

Going along with the humor, "Sounds wonderful young man. Just become a better father than your father."

"I have no idea about how to be a father."

Sean inquires, "Can I be your best man? Have you set a wedding date?"

Smiling, "Yes, you're my best man, but no date yet. I still have to ask her out."

Rachel asks, "What's her name? How does she feel about you?"

Jeff had lost most of his hardness, but now starts growing again as he answers, "Maria. She talks real sweet to me. She talks sexy to me. She's a lot taller than me."

"Does that bother you?" Sean asks lovingly.

"Well yeah, I look like a little kid next to her. I want to be her man."

Rachel suggests, "I think she loves you for who you are." Sean agrees.

"I just feel so inadequate."

Sean replies, "Welcome to planet earth."

Feeling like he needs to show himself off to the whole earth, Jeff requests, "Let's walk the shoreline together."

As they stroll along, Jeff observes, "Look at those two ladies way back there. The one with the bathing suit looks like Roxanne."

Rachel sarcastically sighs, "Oh, great!"

Sean remarks, "I think you're right. But let's stop looking and keep walking. I don't think she's ready for us."

Rachel starts bawling her eyes out. Worried, Jeff asks, "What's wrong Ma?"

"I can't stand the thought of losing Sean!"

Sean takes his hand out of hers, wraps his arm around her tightly, romantically saying, "I love you Rachel."

"Yeah, but you love her too!"

Saying nothing, Sean slides his hand down to her shapely butt, occasionally squeezing her lovingly. Once in a while Jeff observes approvingly. They slow down, so Jeff hugs his mom tightly, sinking his face into her voluptuous breasts. Sean hugs the two of them together. Rachel finally speaks up, "You're so precious, Jeff. " She turns so she can hug Sean alone, saying, "Sean, I can't tell you how much I love you."

"Yes, we've known each other for just a few weeks, but we talk on our dates like we've known each other for years. And Jeff tells me so much about you."

"All good, right?"

Grinning, "Mostly bad."

"OK, I asked for that insult. Jeff tells me all about you too. Before we met even, all I would hear is Sean this and Sean that. Then when I saw you, eureka! Wow, it was love at first sight!"

"So I need to blame Jeff for this!" Sean gets attacked from both sides. "Seriously though, seeing Roxanne here scares me too. I don't want to be faced with a choice between the two of you. Some guys would say that I've got it made--a built-in backup plan. To me, the conflict easily could end with me losing both of you."

"Sean, I'm glad you're not some macho jock."

"In my head it's simple--you and I are together now. But emotionally it's all complicated."

Hugging both of them together, Jeff charmingly suggests, "How about eloping right here, right now." Rachel and Sean burst out laughing. "I really mean it!"

Sean rants, "Yeah, if we get your girl here, we could have a double wedding!"

"Jeff, I know how much you want Sean to be your dad, but these things take time. Let's walk back now."

As they return Jeff warns, "Look, Roxanne is walking this way! She's topless now."

Sean quietly pleads, "Ignore her please."

Jeff notes, "She just turned around! The other woman is turning back too."

Sean calmly surmises, "She must have seen us. Let's just keep walking."

Rachel breathes a sigh of relief. Jeff adds, "Relationships sure can be wacky."

Rachel proclaims, "Now that's the understatement of the day!"

Sean urges, "Let's forget all our worries and have a wonderful day." Jeff takes the lead in carefree frolicking in the sunny breeze. The afternoon couldn't have been more fun, this side of heaven.



28

SHOVE TO LOVE   

As the Cubs warm up for their game against the Dodgers, Mr. Weber approaches Sean. Reaching for a handshake, "Hi Sean."

"Hi Mr. Weber!"

"Please call me Fred."

"OK, hi Fred. You're looking good."

"Yes, and I thank you for that."

"I don't understand. We hardly know each other."

"You've turned my son's life around. In the process, you've helped me. Fred raves about how you came running to help me when I fainted."

"Well, I need to thank you too."

"You do?"

"I know Fred wouldn't have changed without your support."

"I support him? Sean, I feel like I have failed him--in so many ways."

Well, that's one of the ways we help our loved ones--by admitting our failures."

"Oh? Yeah. That makes sense."

"Another thing. I know Fred wants to be like you very much. If you didn't want him to change, I seriously doubt that he would have."

"You really believe that?"

"Fred, I sure do. He loves you very much."

"He never says that he does."

"Do you tell him that you love him?"

"Well, no."

"Fred, I dare you to."

"You're a tough cookie, aren't you?"

"No, just a wimp."

Laughing, "I know better than that now. Thanks again, Sean!"

"See you later."

"OK!"

Sean sees that his captains had picked up the slack as he was sidetracked. Sean sits back and watches the team run itself. Michael exchanges lineups with the other coach. Karim calls the team huddle, including the rally cry. Afterwards, Sean walks up to Karim saying, "Nice job."

"Thanks, Sean!"

"Now I appoint you as coach-for-the-game."

"What!? I can't do that!"

"You already are. Don't worry. I'm here as your back up."

"OK!"

"Just one thing, Karim."

"Yeah?"

"When you put yourself in as pitcher, you need to make Ricky the coach."

"Will do!"

Sean lets the umpire know that Karim is in charge. The ump raises an eyebrow, but already noticed how the team was running itself. "Don't worry. I'll be in the bleachers if they need a help."

Looking in amazement, "OK."

Sean walks over to Fred's dad. "Hi Fred. You mind if I watch this one with you?"

"No! But you gotta coach."

"We have natural leaders on the team. They're running the show tonight."

Nastily, "That wouldn't work!" Then changing his tune, "Well, if anyone can do it, you can."

"Not me, Fred. Them."

"I mean you taught them how."

"Sort of. I give them responsibility and they run with it."

"Sean, this should be interesting!"

When Jeff bunts for a base hit, Fred expresses, "He's quite a scrappy player."

"Sure is! Are you still having a problem with him?"

Fred becomes dead silent. Sean maintains the silence. Finally Fred utters, "So he told you."

"No. Actually, I told him."

"No way! You mean you knew all along! You don't miss a trick!"

"Thank you, Fred. Yes, I've been the silent observer. I've also done some research. One in four men have this kind of attraction."

Angrily, but softly, "Who said anything about attraction!!!"

"I'm sorry. I'm jumping ahead to quickly. I'll back up. I'm the one who caught you staring. I think you hate this about yourself, but keep doing it."

Dead silence again. Finally Fred asserts, "For a little runt you can be quite intimidating."

"That's not my goal. I just deal with problems that need to be dealt with."

"Well, you obviously have me pegged."

"About the attraction too?"

Dead silence yet again. Finally Fred admits, "That's what Jeff suggested. I got real nasty. This scares the hell out of me, but it may be true. But I would never do anything."

"I'm sure you wouldn't want to, Fred. But how do you know you can stop yourself?"

"I just know."

"Can you stop yourself from staring?"

"I should beat the tar out of you!" Fred threatens calmly.

"I take that as a 'no'." After a brief silence, Sean continues, "I'm gonna back off now. I just want you to promise me one thing.

With his body shaking, "What's that?"

"Fred, I want you to talk to me about what's going on in your head. Don't wait for me to come to you. I want you to come to me or to call me. Regularly."

"That won't be easy."

"It's a whole lot easier than the ugly mess this could turn into. Promise me."

Timidly, "I promise."

"That wasn't very convincing. Try again."

Fred starts crying. Smiling, Sean says, "Now I know you aren't crying."

Fred laughs while still crying. Sean puts his hand on Fred's shoulder, which startles him. Sean backs off, suggesting, "I'm going to put my hand back on your shoulder." Fred nods. Sean proceeds, then whispers, "Promise me."

Quietly in his tears, Fred affirms, "Sean, I promise."

"I love you, Fred. We're gonna get through this."

Fred cries his eyes out, as Sean keeps his hand on Fred's shoulder. Sean starts watching the game more closely. Soon Fred does as well. They become the primary cheering section. "Look at that, Sean! My son just praised Dave for the fine fielding play on his hard hit grounder. He used to hate Dave's guts."

The Cubs lead the entire game but the Dodgers mount a rally in the bottom of the sixth and final inning. Ricky asks for a time out to talk to the pitcher. He motions to Jose to come in, then gives Karim a pat on the butt as he heads to first base.

Sean exclaims to Fred, "Did you see that! Ricky did that like he's been coaching for years!"

With admiration, Fred proclaims, "I don't know how you do it!"

Smiling, "I'm not doing anything!"

"You know what I mean, smart aleck!" They jab each other in the arm. 

Jose has sharp control, quickly choking the Dodger rally, saving the game for the Cubs. Sean runs out there, giving everyone a big hug. Ricky shoves him, "We don't need you anymore."

"I know! Nice job pro!"

When Sean shakes hands with the Dodger coach, he voices, "Sean, I just don't get it. I have two parents as assistant coaches, sometimes three. And after every game I'm exhausted. Here you are coaching single-handedly and relax the whole game in the bleachers." Sean smiles as he continues, "Now I wouldn't have minded if we won. But we lost, so you're making a fool out of me!"

Sean recognizes his kind-hearted tone, so he pleasantly says, "I have some natural leaders on my team. The more responsibility I dish out the more they eat."

"I don't know how you do it!"

"You saw me. I didn't do anything."

The umpire had walked up to them, hearing most of the conversation. He now interjects, "Sean, I've been umpiring for over twenty years. I've never seen anything like this. I can't believe how mature and respectful they all are. That catcher of yours, I've seen him a couple of years now. He was nothing but a troublemaker. I'm not saying the nasty words running through my mind. What did you do to him--a lobotomy?"

"I respect my players and eventually they respect me. When I tried to teach them to respect their opponent, it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Then unexpectedly they turned it around, in a big way."

"You must be religious or something."

"God's been very patient with me. So I've learned to be patient with others."

The three men exchange warm good-byes, then move on. Sean sees his whole team waiting in the dugout for him. As he arrives, he sees all the equipment  packed and everyone with smiles from head to toe. Sternly Sean asks, "What's up?" Everyone starts laughing and giggling. Sean laughs, "Now I know something's up."

While laughing, Karim announces, "We had a team meeting and a team vote. Unanimously we decided..."

"Decided what!?"

"You're fired!" 

The dugout breaks out in bedlam, as everyone crowds around Sean. Then Fred shouts out, "Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate!"

Everyone screams, "Sean!!!"

Fred mimics Sean, "I can't hear you!!!"

Deafeningly, "Sean!!!!"

Guys, I'm so glad that I've made such an impact on your lives. Now I want to thank you for the impact you have made in mine and in others, such as the two men I just was talking to. Fred, you even got singled out in this honor...."

Before Sean could finish, Jeff leads a chant for Fred. Fred cries and hugs everyone. Roy gives him the biggest hug of all. This time Fred feels relaxed hugging Alex. "Alex, I want you to know, the hate disappeared. I respect you now!"

Teary eyed, "Thanks, Fred. You're special."

As Fred leaves the dugout, his father greets him with a hug too, "I love you son."

Both break into a flood of tears. They continue hugging. Speaking through his tears, "Dad, I love you too." 

Another flood gushes forth. Sean comes over, puts a hand on each of them, saying, "I'm proud of you, both of you." 



29

SAD LAD & DAD  

After school the next day, Jeff goes straight to Sean's house.

"I thought you would be showing up soon."

"I see. You're in your bikini already."

As they frolic in the pool Sean tells Jeff that Roxanne had called. "Oh, is she coming over to swim topless with us."

"Ha. Ha."

"Well, we're topless too."

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

"So did she bare all at Black's Beach?"

"No. Jeff, when you saw her turn around, she went back to put her top back on."

"Why are you so sad, Sean? Never saw her naked?"

"Actually, no, but that's not why I'm sad. Well, that's sad too. She will not become a naturist because it makes her feel naked."

"Dah!"

"Read between the lines. She hates that feeling."

"So I'm right, Sean. You're sad that you won't see her naked. Me too!"

"Let me continue. She's happy for me that I'm happy as a naturist, but there aint no way she ever will be."

"Meaning Roxanne is out of the picture now. She's history. I couldn't be happier!"

"Well, I'm happy that way too, but I'm seriously sad about losing her."

"So what can I do for you?"

"That's sweet of you, Jeff! Right now I want to forget it and play."

After plenty of wacky fun, Sean takes a business phone call. Soon Jeff feels his own sadness as he swims alone. So he runs up to Sean's shower. When Sean finishes his call he goes to join Jeff. As he opens the shower door, he sees Jeff with his upper back leaning against the wall, his lower back stretched forward, and his legs spread apart. Instinctively Sean says, "Excuse me," closing the door and stepping away. Now what he saw sinks in--Jeff was stroking his hard penis. Or is he imagining that.

"Sean, please don't leave."

"What's up?"

"I need help."

"Jeff, I thought you were having a precious private moment."

"I'm very sad too."

"About what?"

"I need to be able to jerk off so I can ask Maria out."

"I think I missed something there. Is this her request?"

"No, it's something I gotta do for me. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. Can you help?"

"There's nothing wrong with your stroke."

Breaking down in tears, "Help me Sean!"

"I really, really don't want to go in there."

In agony, "Please, Sean. Pleeeease."

Sean steps in, seeing Jeff in the same position, "Can you stop masturbating for a minute?"

Still in tears, reluctantly, "OK."

Sean slides a leg under Jeff so he can sit on his knee and lays his head on Jeff's shoulder. So if you can jerk off you're a man?"

"You got it!"

"To me, what I see you do on the ball field and in everyday life proves you're a man."

"I need more than that."

"Let's think about your father, Jeff."

"I don't know my father."

"Exactly. What did he do to become your father."

"He dipped my mother, the bastard!"

"So he did a whole lot more than jerk off to prove he's a man."

Angrily, "He's no man!"

"I agree. You're far more of a man than he."

I think this is sinking in, Sean. But let me just think about it for a while."

"Sure thing." Sean feels relief now that Jeff softened. He gently starts rubbing Jeff's stomach.

"That feels great. Just what I needed. Why am I in such an awkward position?"

Laughing, "Don't ask me!"

"Sean, I'm sorry I kept wanking when you came in."

"I was gonna get around to that."

"I feel so empty when I jerk off alone."

"Jeff, I hear you. Try hugging yourself with your free arm."

"OK. But I really rather have you there. To be honest, I really want you to jack me."

"Well, I appreciate your honesty, I'm not surprised actually, but that's not gonna happen. I know some one that would be happy to oblige."

"Yeah, but he says...no, that's none of your business."

"That's right!" Sean gives Jeff a big hug, then says, "We better get under the shower before we run out of hot water." They proceed with their new ritual.   


30

DIE OR CRY

"Hello Jeff! Two afternoons in a row. You caught me by surprise this time."

"Sean, remember the cliff?"

"Sure do. Are you ready to jump?"

"Stop it! I'm ready to make a commitment."

"Well great! You first get a big hug." Jeff gives him a kiss on the cheek too. "So, Jeff, do you remember what you need to say?"

"Yeah. I promise to do no harm to myself, no matter how bad I feel."

"Congratulations, buddy!

"There's more, Sean."

"That's right. Go for it."

"I trust God will keep me safe in his arms no matter how bad things may get."

"Wow! What wonderful words! I couldn't have said it better myself!"

"Thanks," tears streaming down Jeff's face, "I've been praying. And I kept getting pictures in my head of God holding me the way you hold me. I feel safe in your arms. Now I know I'm safe in his."

"Now you've got me crying too. Thank you little man."

"Man! Yeah! Guess what. Maria wants to go out with me!"

"Congratulations again, Jeff! Where are you going?"

"We couldn't figure that out. Can we go on a double date with you?"

"Who do I ask out?"

"My mother, dah!"

"Sounds like that could work out nicely. Maybe a dinner-date, so we can get to know each other."

"Yeah!"

"So talk to your mother. If she approves, then you need to get permission from her parents. Maybe they want to come too."

"Man, this is harder than getting married!"

Laughing, "Interesting point. Now that you're here, Jeff, I need your help."

"Shoot."

"I've been depressed today."

"You don't look depressed, Sean."

"No. That's because you're the silver lining in my cloud."

"Whatever that means."

"You bring sunshine into my heart. Agony melts away."

"So what do you need?"

"Jeff, I want you to lay down with me in my bed."

"Well, let's hit it. Are we getting naked?"

"Yes."

"Good."

In bed Jeff asks, "What made you depressed?"

"Losing Roxanne."

Sadly, "Oh yeah."

"We've been together a long time."

"And you never got naked!"

"Please don't go there. I need a listener right now. I know losing Roxanne is good news for you. But I need you to be sad with me. Maybe you can think about yesterday, when you thought you couldn't have Maria."

"OK, Sean, good idea."

So they lay there in each other's arms, being sad together, not needing to say much. Occasionally Sean talked about precious memories of Roxanne. Jeff felt pleased that he could help comfort Sean just like Sean helped him yesterday. Today, he's the man. 



31

CRAWL, TALL PAUL  

Talk at school by the Yankees had tested the patience of the Cubs, Paul being the primary instigator. Sean immediately picks up on the negative vibes during pre-game warm-ups. He calls a team meeting. "Sounds like we lost that beautiful team spirit. What's wrong guys?"

Fred says, "I really want to kick butt against these guys."

"I like your words but not you tone. You sound like the old Fred. Earlier in the season I wouldn't have expected anything else and wouldn't have said anything. Now I'm concerned that your attitude will hurt your game. Another thing, your new spark has helped the whole team. I bet that will happen again if you can overlook Yankee ugliness."

"I don't think I can, Sean."

Jeff quickly responds, "I'm gonna pray about it."

Karim quietly says, "Me too."

Sean inquires, "Does anyone mind if we have a moment of silence?" No one objects so Sean says, "OK, let's put our hands together like we do for our cheer. But we'll skip the cheer and just close our eyes and be silent." When Sean senses some fidgeting, he quietly encourages, "Try to beat them with respect, not hate. Let's take the field."

Rather than hustling out, bursting with excitement, they quietly walk to their positions. Sean is glad about this, but has no idea what may develop. Michael looks sharp on the mound, getting the Yankees out in three batters. With quiet zeal the team hustles in. You would think they were at a funeral. No one socializes. But Sean sees a fierce determination developing in his team. He gives his encouragement with touch only. The fans have sensed the somber mood and likewise are subdued, albeit perplexed.

Paul hustles to throw out Jeff on his bunt. "Take that dickhead."

Jeff kindly responds, "Nice play Paul," and 	quickly returns to the dugout. "Sean, I need help! I hate Paul."

Sean hugs him tightly saying nothing. Fred comes over, hugging him too. "Jeff, your prayer helped me. I feel peace inside. Thanks."

"Good! Now you need to pray for me!"

"Sorry, I don't know how."

"You know how to talk to me, right Fred?"

"Duh."

"That's all you need to do to pray, but it doesn't have to be out loud."

"Well Jeff, I can't promise you anything."

Giving Fred a hug, "That's fine Fred."

Jose, Michael, and Karim all hit clean singles. So Fred comes to the plate. He shoots the thought "help me do good" to heaven. He gets fooled badly on the first pitch. Angrily he steps out of the batter's box. He calms down, almost in tears. Shooting up the same prayer, he steps back in. The pitch looks like a volleyball coming in. he swings with determination, hears a sweet ring in the bat, and watches the ball sail a mile over the left field fence. The pitcher's chin drops as the left fielder just stands there watching the rocket fly. Home run, 4-0! The Cubs go wild. As Fred trots past first, Paul says, "Nice shot!"

Startled, Fred looks at him, then merely mouths, "Thanks!"

All the Cubs give him a high-five, but Sean stays back. Fred seeks him out, "How about that!!!"

Sternly, "You were holding the bat wrong."

First shocked, Fred starts cracking up, "You had me going!" Sean then gives him a long, big hug, which gets interrupted by screaming. Ricky hit a towering fly to left. The left fielder gets back to the fence and jumps, coming down empty. Back to back home runs!

His next time up, Jeff draws a base on balls. He dreads having to listen to Paul at first base. Paul says, "I don't know what's gotten into your team but somehow I'm just admiring you guys."

Totally surprised, Jeff retorts, "Yeah, right!"

"Really! And I've been feeling bad for the way I've been treating everyone, especially you." Realizing that he's for real, Jeff starts crying. "Don't cry! You're gonna make me cry. You're gonna ruin my reputation."

"OK, and I'm sorry too."

"What for!?"

"I've been hating you a lot."

"Well, I deserved it!"

"Yeah, but that shouldn't matter."

Sean can't believe his eyes when he sees them giving each other a high five. Sean says to Fred, "Looks like your prayer was answered."

"How did you know I prayed to hit well?"

"You did?"

"Yeah, when I hit the homer. What are you talking about?"

"Jeff and Paul are friends!"

Laughing, "You've been drinking the cool-aid!"

"Really!  Look at them."

"I must be dreaming! Come to think of it..."

After the Cubs win easily, Jeff, Ricky, and Fred approach Paul.  After chatting, they each give him a hug. 



32

BE TRUE, FREE TOO  

That evening Sean settles into his recliner when the doorbell rings. Wearily he makes his way to the door. Fred's father, Fred, spills out, "Help me Sean!"

Placing a hand on his shoulder, "Please come in Fred."

Before getting to a chair, Fred breaks down in tears. Sean hugs him, which Fred gratefully accepts. "Please sit down, Fred. Here's a box of tissues."

"Sean, I have a big problem."

"You can tell me, Fred."

"I walked to the store after work as I normally do. Along the way I stared at a boy. I couldn't help myself. Then again, at another boy. Now I realize that I have this routine of walking, rather than driving, just for this purpose."

"That doesn't surprise me."

"It scares the hell out of me!"

"Tell me more, Fred."

"As soon as I see their sexy eyes, I get hard," starting to sob again."

"Any boy?"

"No, Sean, certain ones."

"You go to all the ball games. There's a ton of boys there."

"Yeah. With all the people around, I usually only glance. There's only a couple that I end up staring at--the best. Or the worst, depending how you look at it."

"In your mind, Fred, what do you do with the boy of choice?"

Sobbing again, "I don't know, my head just spins!"

"Do you start talking to any of the boys?"

"No way!"

"You talk to Jeff."

"He started it. That thrilled me to death. Sean, it was like talking to a god."

"Have any other boys ever started talking to you?"

"I can't think of any. Occasionally I get a dirty look. That snaps me out of it. Then I give a dirty look back."

"What about when Fred has friends over."

"It feels fantastic when they talk to me. I don't dare stare."

"Let me tell you about a friend, Fred."

"Sure, Sean."

"After high school baseball practice, one time my friend and I played a little longer than the rest of the team. So they were gone by the time we got in the showers. His dick got hard, so I turned because I didn't want to see it. Next thing I know, he shoved it tight against my butt. I didn't care that he was stronger than me, I spun around and decked him, saying every choice word I thought of."

"I would have too!"

"He got up, ready to kill me. I showered him with more choice words, ending with, 'Don't even touch me!!!' Even though he knew I couldn't stop him, he backed off. Without any words we dried off and got dressed.

"While walking home he broke the silence, 'Sean, you know I'm gay. You know how sexy I think you are.' I cut him off, 'And you know how totally I want no part of it.' He gave me this song and dance about how horny he was; how badly he needed me. He had me believing that, as a friend, it was my duty to help him out with some booty. I almost caved. We actually started looking for a place to do it. Then I snapped out of it. I said, 'Your need help alright! And you're gonna find help.' He says, 'I don't need help!' So I say, 'Good, I'm out of here.'

"My dad told me about a twelve-step group for people out of control sexually. So I told my friend about the group. He said, 'No way.' I said, 'Either I tell the world about your problem or you tell this group.' After his first meeting, he said, 'I'm not going again. These guys are way older than me, and half of them are lusting after me. I said, 'Congratulations.' He said, 'I don't want them. I want you! I'm afraid to go back.' I ended up agreeing to go with him, waiting outside for him to get out. When they walked out I saw it for myself. A guy had the eye for him. When he saw me, the first glance was sexual too, but then he snapped out of it. The next time we agreed that I would hide and see if someone would make a move on him. No one did, so he felt safe going alone after that."

"Sean, I guess you're telling me this so that I start going too."

"I wasn't thinking that, but it may be good. But I need to tell you, this friend says that in all the times he went to group, no one ever talked about having an attraction to children. Apparently, they're afraid of getting in trouble with the law if they do. From what I hear, you can do long jail time even if you haven't done anything illegal. When it comes to sexual feelings for a child, people assume you're guilty. Teachers are afraid to give their students encouragement with loving touch. What kids need most of all, teachers don't dare give."

"Yeah, I've always been afraid to touch my son too. Now I feel terrible that I haven't been there for him."

"So beat yourself up."

"Sean, I do that plenty."

"I figured. But I hope you can forgive yourself, Fred."

"I don't know about that."

"Do you know who made you?"

"What do you mean, Sean?"

"God made you. And God don't make no junk."

Laughing, "Jeff told my son that!"

"Good! Now you and your son can remind each other."

"Good idea.... About that group, I guess most of them were gay?" Fred almost said 'faggot,' but caught himself in time.

"Actually, no. That's what my friend first thought. Actually, almost all of them were attracted to women."

"Of course, it was the gays that were eyeing him."

"That's the weird part. Eventually my friend started confronting his secret admirers privately. Most of them had no attraction to men."

"That is strange."

"Fred, are you attracted to men?"

"No."

"Is that, 'No I don't want to be' or 'No I'm not."

"Both.... Hey, Sean, I'm like those guys!"

"What do you mean?"

"Attracted to boys but not men. I feel better!"

Puzzled, "So you're happy to be a pedophile?"

"Ouch! Don't say that word! No, I'm happy there are more like me. I don't feel alone in my misery.... But I have to admit--when I lust for a boy; I'm wishing that he would lust for me. What a pervert I am.

"I'm glad you hate this attraction. But I hope you stop hating yourself.... Take comfort, the truth will set you free." 



33

LEERS, FEARS, JEERS, 'N TEARS  

The next afternoon Jeff stops at Sean's house. "Guess what! My mom likes the idea of a dinner date too."

"Great, now you need to talk to Maria's parents."

"I talked to Sonya, her mom, when she picked her up after school. She's keen on the idea. Friday night is good for them."

"What about Maria's father?"

"He's out of the picture. But Sonya's boyfriend may come too."

"Jeff, I was hoping to be alone with your mom Friday, but I'm game."

"Great! We pick them up at Jose's house."

"Why?"

"That's where they live right now."

"Really!?"

"Yeah, Sean. She's Jose's cousin."

"That explains a lot!"

"What do you mean?"

"Jose's very affectionate. I figure she must be too--just what you would want."

"You got that right, Sean!"

After talking about the game, Jeff inquires, "Why are you so uptight about erections in the shower but not at Black's Beach?"

"Well, when we're together, just the two of us, arousal isn't appropriate."

"But you approve of Alex and me arousing each other."

"I don't know if I approve, Jeff, but I don't disapprove."

"It felt great having you and my mother looking at my boner at the beach.... Sean, what just happened to you?"

Feeling embarrassed, "So you know I was staring at your erection."

"Yeah, I loved it."

"Well, I have to admit I loved looking at it, but I feel uncomfortable about it."

"Why? You weren't getting turned on."

"No. Looking at erections is something new to me. To be honest, seeing you get hard and get soft again peaked my interest."

"I know it did. That made me feel like a king."

"Jeff, I know I wouldn't want to tell the world about this. In fact, I wouldn't want to tell anyone this."

"I'm cool with that. I'll keep it secret. But someone knows already."

Panicking, "Who did you tell!?"

Laughing, "No one! But Mom could tell you were enjoying it."

With dread, "Oh, no! Jeff, I can't take this."

"Sean! You are a panic! What's the big deal!?"

"What else does she know!"

"All about our showers, for starters."

"Don't do that to me! I nearly had a heart attack!" Jeff can't stop laughing. "I guess I'm not half the naturist that I thought I was!"

"Get in bed, Sean! Get naked!"

Sean follows orders and Jeff joins him, wrapping his fingers around Sean's testicles. "How did you know I needed that!? Please don't ever let go, ever!"

Jeff swings around into the 69 position, not letting go. "Now do the same for me." Sean does, as silent tears roll down his cheeks. Jeff moves Sean's penis to the side, laying his head on top of it. Sean massages Jeff's butt with his free hand. 

An hour later Jeff wakes up finding himself in the same position. He tries to get up, which awakens Sean. Sean can't believe they fell asleep naked with the door wide open. "My parents could have walked in on us."

Jeff steps out of the room, then runs back, "And they don't look pleased!"

Sean's chest sinks, just at the remote chance it was true. Jeff laughs, "I gotcha again!"

"You're gonna give me gray hair before the year is done."

When Rachel comes to get Jeff, Sean asks her, "How does it feel to see your son get an erection?"

"Wow! You barely said hello! OK. I feel wonderful that he shares such an intimate moment with us."

"So wonderful that you want to tell the universe."

"No! Just you. I could tell you deeply appreciated the moment as well."

"Yes, I did. Let's say I wasn't there. You are putting Jeff to bed and it happens."

"Same thing, Sean, deeply honored. So what's the problem?"

"Seeing somebody's erection is new to me, Rachel, so I've been very uncomfortable dealing with it."

"You weren't turned on, Sean, so lighten up."

"That's what Jeff said!  I can't believe you both knew that." 



34

WORST THIRST FOR FIRST  

As Jeff arrives at the ball field, Fred declares "It's a miracle!"

Roy asks, "What is?"

"Jeff got a haircut!" Karim observes.

Arnie laughs, "Looks like he got them all cut."

Clyde muses, "Must of lost ten pounds."

Ricky inquires, "You wouldn't be in love, would you?"

Jeff jumps to answer, "You bet!"

Jamie teases, "Sounds like she's got you wrapped around her finger already."

Jose suggests, "I guess you don't know what happened to Samson when his long locks were cut."

Jerry decides, "Yup, you're history now, Jeff."

Roy asks, "Is this babe taller than you?"

With a winning smile, Jeff concludes, "I just love trying to find my way. You ritalin zombies need to get a life."

If the Padres can beat the Cubs tonight they will be tied for first place. Michael being sick means Jamie gets his first chance to play shortstop. Sean first approaches Karim, "I need you to pitch first tonight."

"OK, Sean. I'm ready."

"You're pitching three innings no matter what." Then approaching Jose, "Karim's pitching the first three innings, so I need you to start at first base."

"OK coach, but only if you don't let Jeff date my cousin."

"What!"

"Kidding! I think it's great!"

Smiling, "Good. I need you to pitch the final three innings Jose, no matter what."

"Good!" As he hugs Sean he tries to kiss him on the cheek, but Sean doesn't bend down for him. 

"Don't want any rumors to start!"

"Oh Sean, that's ridiculous!"

With pitching squared away, he approaches Jamie. "So Sean, I get to play shortstop tonight!"

"Yes, the whole game."

"Wow! But I'm scared too."

"I don't care how many mistakes you make--I want you to play with confidence. Focus on what you need to do, not on your fear. OK?"

"OK!"

"You have a stronger arm than Jeff so you need to be the cut-off man every chance you can. Jeff's used to that, anyway."

To start the game, Jeff steps to the plate against the best pitcher in the league. No Cub reached base against him in their first contest. With the infield in, he swings at the first fastball, foul tipping it. The second blazer comes at his chin. In self-defense he falls over backwards. He gets up, shaking in his skin. Getting his head back into the game, he gets back into the box, crowding the plate. This surprises, then angers the pitcher. The next fastball comes right at his groin. Quickly he spins, getting hit on the butt. "Yeeeow!"

Sean runs out there. "This may hurt, but it aint nothing compared to getting hit anywhere else. Nice reaction!" He lifts Jeff up by the arm. Jeff hobbles to first base. Jose strikes out, but not before Jeff runs for second on a pitch the catcher blocks. The good throw does not catch 'white lightning.'

Karim steps up knowing any hit means a run. In the batting cage yesterday he focused on hitting the fastball with two strikes. He decides to swing as if there are two strikes already. He lines the first pitch down the line. The first baseman dives, coming up empty. Karim hustles into second as Jeff easily scores. Someone tells Sean that it is the first run given up this year by this star pitcher. Fred continues his new practice of praying, but strikes out. In the dugout he angrily tells Jeff it didn't work. Jeff says, "God already proved to you that he listens to you. Maybe now he's testing how well you listen to him."

"Jeff, this stuff is too tough!"

"Just treasure your huge homer last week."

Ricky saw Karim's strategy and decides to do the same. He fouls off a couple. On 1-2 he bloops one that the first baseman hustles back on. As he reaches on the run, he stumbles, allowing the ball to drop in. Ricky slides into second base ahead of the tag as another run scores!

In the bottom of the first the Padres have a runner at second with two outs. Jamie races back on a bloop to shallow left. Lunging, he makes the catch, rolling over. Alex helps him up, giving him a hug.

In the second, leading 2-0, each Cub strikes out on three pitches, but Karim pitches a one-two-three inning too.

After fouling two back, Jeff sees the infielders move back to their normal fielding positions. He bunts the next pitch well within the first base line, easily beating it out. But Jose and Karim strike out. With Jeff still at first, it's up to Fred. The thought he shoots to heaven is, "I won't get angry no matter what happens." After swinging late twice, he should protect the plate on a 1-2 count. But he decides he needs to start his swing before he knows where the pitch is heading. As he swings, he finds himself taking a full swing. He pulls a towering fly that the left fielder races to the fence on. Suddenly he lunges forward. The ball drops in as Jeff easily scores. Fred stops at second. After walking Ricky, Jamie strikes out to end the inning.

Karim gets two quick outs, one on a grounder to Jamie. Then the leadoff hitter lines a one-hopper into Karim's knee. He topples to the ground as Jamie picks up the ball. 

As Karim grimaces in pain, his father runs onto the field. Sean keeps players from crowding Karim, so his father can get to Karim. "Did the ball hit your knee cap, Karim?" He frantically nods yes. "Take a deep breath, son. Slow, deep breathes. Sean, I'm going to have to take him for X-rays."

"I agree. Hang in there, Karim. You're gonna be fine. Ricky, can you help walk Karim to the car?"

"Sure thing, Sean."

Sean instructs Karim, "Don't try to put weight on your left foot." Ricky and Karim's father pick him up. Sean sees Karim's terrible pain, looks deeply into his eyes, and hugs him. "Karim, put an arm around Ricky's shoulder and the other around your father's. When you normally step on your left foot, you will put all your weight on their shoulders instead. They're your crutches."

Karim's teammates wish him well as he hobbles off the field. Sean cannot afford to pitch Jose until the next inning. He looks at Fred, "I need you to get us out of the inning."

"What do you mean?"

"Pitch. If I bring Jose in now, then he's not allowed to pitch the sixth inning."

Me!?"

"Yup. Clyde! Come in and catch. Fred, just fire down the middle. Nothing fancy."

"OK, Sean."

The batter drills the first pitch to short. The ball hits the heel of Jamie's glove and trickles away. Runners on first and second. With a power hitter up, a home run will tie the score. The first pitch is drilled at Rick the Quick. He knocks the ball down, picks it up, and takes three steps to the bag for the force out. Inning over!

Sean goes out to thank Fred, "It wasn't pretty, but you got the job done with no damage."

"I'm glad it's over!"

"Honestly, Fred, me too! But now we have another problem--nobody to play first base."

"I can play first base."

"Yes you can, but you don't like it."

"For you, I'd clean the toilet!" Sean gives him a hug.

The Padres bring in their off-speed pitcher. The bottom of the order gets fooled badly by his speed changes. The rest of the hitters watch closely, remembering how tricky he can be.

Jose walks the first two batters he faces. Sean goes to the mound, "What do you want me to do? Bring in Ricky to pitch?"

"No way!"

"Then pitch! Is Clyde setting up the target differently?"

"Yeah. Fred sets up on one side of the plate or the other, sometimes high, usually low."

"Hear that, Clyde?"

Feeling bad, "Yeah."

"Hey buddy, you don't have to feel bad. I'm happy you can catch! Now if Jose shakes his head, 'No,' he's not mad at you. He just wants the target in a different spot for the next pitch. OK?"

Feeling better, "Yeah!" Sean gives them both a pat on the butt and returns to the dugout. Jose gets out of the inning giving up one run.

Again the Padres play for a bunt against Jeff. He decides he'll swing away and doesn't want to take a strike against this pitcher either. Twice he is fooled badly, bringing the count to 2-2. They still play for a bunt so Jeff decides to just foul pitches off, looking for a walk. He only has to foul off one pitch before accomplishing his goal.

Jose bloops a single with Jeff speeding to third. Jose steals second on the first pitch to Clyde, who replaced Karim in the order. After striking out, Fred hits a lazy pop that the second baseman snags. With first base open, Ricky walks on four pitches. Jamie swings, hitting the ball down to the plate. The ball bounces twenty feet toward first. The catcher treks it down, firing to first base because he has no chance to force Jeff at the plate. The throw sails over the first baseman allowing three runs to score, building the lead to 6-1. Jose gives up a solo home run, the only other run of the game. The Cubs win shorthanded, 6-2.



35

KISS OF BLISS   

Sean had talked to Maria's mother, Sonya, to find out their taste in food. So they arrive at their house having a reservation at a restaurant. They had decided on casual dress but Jeff insisted on borrowing some of Sean's cologne. Now he insists on going to the door alone. Sonya answers the door, gives Jeff a hug and a kiss on the lips, inviting him in. When Maria walks gracefully into the room, Jeff does a double take. Sonya had done up her hair beautifully.

"Wow! You look gorgeous--not that I didn't think that already."

Following Sonya's example, Jeff approaches Maria, giving her a hug and a kiss on the lips. Maria's eyes pop wide open, romantically whispering, "I didn't expect a kiss."

"Uh, um, I'm sorry Maria."

"Don't be sorry." Maria then kisses Jeff on the lips.

"I'm in heaven!"

Sonya's boyfriend Roberto had just walked in, "These kids don't waste any time!"

Smiling, Sonya says, "No, they don't. Aren't they sweet!"

Jeff says, "No! Your daughter is sweet."

"I stand corrected. Are you ready to go? You two go with Rachel and Sean. We will follow."

Jeff bids, "OK. Maria, may I have your hand?"

Maria muses, "Only in matrimony, my man."

"What's that?"

Sonya asserts, "That's not for another ten years."

Maria reaches for Jeff's hand. Both drift off onto cloud nine. Jeff opens the door for Maria, then bangs his head on it as he follows. He has more success with the car door. He lays his hand on Maria's back, guiding her in. Getting in on the other side, he slides across the seat next to Maria.

"Guess what, Mom!?"

"What Jeff?"

"We had our first kiss!"

"You move fast!"

"Yeah, it just happened."

Maria jests, "What do you mean it just happened. You had to get on your tippy toes." Sean laughs.

Fighting tears, "You're making me feel like a little kid, Maria."

"I didn't mean to. You may be short, Jeff, but I don't think of you as a little kid."

She puts her arm around Jeff. "Ahhhh, that gives me goose bumps."

Sean wonders, "What are you two doing back there?"

Maria quickly removes her arm. "Maria! You can keep your arm around me."

Rachel assures her, "Of course!"

Now they put their arms around each other. "Maria, I'm so in love with you!"

"Stop! You're embarrassing me in from of your parents."

Sean corrects, "I'm not Jeff's father."

Jeff urges, "Get used to the idea!" Rachel and Maria laugh. Jeff continues, "Maria, my parents already know I'm in love with you."

"Really! Then I'm gonna kiss you again."

Jeff opens his mouth so Maria does too. Their tongues meet. Maria suddenly pulls away. "Maria, what's wrong!"

"You surprised me. I'm OK now. They kiss again, their tongues exploring each other's mouth. Jeff becomes hard as a rock. When they stop, Maria looks down, then away, and then into Jeff's sexy eyes. "Jeff, I see you really liked that."

Rachel and Sean smile at each other, remaining quiet. Jeff delights in exultation, "You bet! How about you?"

Maria passionately turns for another French kiss. As they kiss Jeff's hand instinctively moves toward Maria's breasts. When he realizes what he's about to do, he quickly pulls his hand away, but continues kissing. Finally Maria ends the kiss asking, "Where did you learn to kiss so beautifully?"

Half dazed, "I never did this before. It's all new to me."

"Me too," Maria's head falling backward.

Sean suggests, "I think this dinner will be a disappointment for you two."

Jeff snaps out of his trance, "Why, where are we eating?"

"Where isn't the question. Who wants to eat when you can kiss."

Everyone laughs.

In the parking lot, Sonya quips, "I didn't know ten year olds could smooch so much!"

Maria responds, "You could see us!"

Pleasantly, "Enough to figure it out."

Entering the restaurant, Rachel whispers, "What a romantic atmosphere!" Sonya agrees.

When Sonya opens the menu she reacts, "Oh dear Sean, we can't afford these prices!"

"Everything already is paid, a fixed price regardless of what we order. This is my treat for the first date of a wonderful couple and a welcome to California to you."

Roberto offers, "I have been living in California all along, so I'll pay the tip."

"Fair enough."

The waiter brings out the champagne. Jeff and Maria carefully watch him pop the cork. Jeff asks, "Do we get champagne too?"

To his surprise, the waiter affirms, "Yes Jeff, of course. You and Maria are our guests of honor. Do you see your special bottle over there?"

"Yes I see it. How did you know our names?"

"I'm just doing my job, Jeff."

Maria tells Jeff, "This sure beats floating in a tire tube."

Overhearing, Sonya retorts, "Oh, Maria!"

That perks Jeff's curiosity, "What are you talking about, my love?"

"We came to America in a tire tube."

"Wow! Really!?"

"Early one night the two of us left Cuba in one tire tube. We couldn't leave any other way."

"You could have died!"

Many do not make it. So we give thanks for the air we breathe and for America, the land of the free."

Sean interrupts, "I want to hear all about this. But, if I may, I would like to propose a toast. Please rise and hold up your glass of champagne. I propose a toast to a couple I already admire greatly, to honor them on their first date, to wish them deep, lasting love and joy, to implore them to fair fighting only, and to celebrate their dynamic discovery of the word 'kiss.'" Continuing through the laughter, "So I toast Maria and Jeff."

Please save some champagne--I have two more toasts. But first, does someone else wish to propose a toast. Sonya responds, "I propose a toast to a man that my nephew Jose talks about endlessly. That would be his coach, Sean!"

"Thank you, Sonya, very much. Now I propose a toast to my former fiancee, who railroaded me into coaching, thereby having to coach the likes of this little man, Jeff. He, in turn, railroaded me into meeting his mother, Rachel, who I now am stuck with!"

Roberto speaks up, "I propose a toast to a lady who pulled me out of the gutter, gave me a reason for living, and helped me find true joy. Sonya, I toast you, my love."

Sean continues, "My final toast goes to the most wonderful tire experts I know. Sonya and Maria, welcome to America and welcome to California."

Jeff eagerly expresses, "I have one, this toast is to the person who helped me find the courage to ask Maria out, a person who better get used to me calling him Dad. Sean, you're stuck with me too!"

After Maria and Sonya tell all about their voyage to America, Sean says "I have a true story about a girl that looks like Maria, maybe a little older. Jenny walks to the beach alone, only a quarter of a mile from her home. The beach is on a secluded cove, popular on weekends, empty during the week. She loves the water. She brings a life jacket because her parents always talk about 'safety first.' She sits down on her towel near the water, watching the waves break. She loves the serenity she feels with no one around. Soon she gets the itch to go swimming. Then she realizes she left her bathing suit at home. Not to be deterred, Jenny takes off her clothes, puts on the life jacket, and splashes into the ocean. She loves bobbing up and down in the waves. 

"After more than an hour, Jenny sees something else bobbing up and down. She swims over to it. Strangely, it may be her water bottle. How could that be? She swims back to shore, taking the bottle with her. "Oh dear! I don't see my towel. My clothes! My house key! What do I do?"

The waiter arrives with the food. Everyone talks about all the fine food. Soon Sonya asks, "Sean, aren't you going to finish your story?

"This is intermission. A chance to talk about what you would do if you were Jenny."

Maria surmises, "That's how we arrived in America. But we had no life jacket--just wet underwear and a wet undershirt. We didn't care how we looked. We just hoped someone would help us and not hurt us."

Roberto adds, "Thank God you were helped. Now if I were Jenny I would walk home in the life jacket."

"In broad daylight?" Sonya asks.

"Yeah, but if I was a boy I'd wait until dark to walk home."

"Why, Roberto?" Rachel wonders.

"People would just whistle at a naked girl, but throw rocks at a naked boy." Everyone starts laughing.

Maria asserts, "I would take the wet life preserver off and walk home."

"Oh Maria," Sonya scolds.

"Then Jeff would come along and rescue me!"

Jeff smiles, "Yeah!"

Laughing, Roberto declares, "Someone has to pull these two apart!"

They grab each other's hand, shouting, "No way!"

"Shhh. Restaurant voices please," Rachel implores.

Maria urges Sean to finish the story. "Jenny figures out that the tide came in and washed away her belongings. She realizes she can't wait until dark--her parents would worry. So she decides to leave immediately, in the life jacket, before traffic gets heavier. On the way she remembers she can't get into the house without a key, so her parents will find out what happened. Then Jenny comes up with an idea. Her neighbor has the spare key. She can ring their bell, if she dares."

Roberto asks, "How do you know this story?"

Rachel guesses, "You must be the neighbor, Sean."

"I heard the story from the neighbor, whose name I will not reveal."

Maria utters, "So she rang the neighbor's doorbell! There's no way I'd do that naked."

Sonya blurts out, "Good!"

Jeff asks, "Would you go naked at a beach that allows it?"

Maria bids, "Only with you, my dearest."

Sonya asserts, "Only with me."

Sean looks at Rachel. Rachel nods. Sean challenges, "You can prove it tomorrow."

Sonya wonders, "What do you mean?"

"Clothing is optional at Black's Beach."

Sonya looks at Roberto. He smiles, "There's a first time for everything."

Sonya turns and asks, "So are you three going?"

Jeff affirms, "You bet!"

Maria urges, "Let's go mama!"

Sonya airs, "We don't have bathing suits, but that wouldn't matter. Now Maria, don't tell Jose what beach we're going to. I don't want his parents to know. For all I know they'd throw us out of the house."

Sean remarks, "My parents would have a cow! This isn't something you want public. And don't worry, Jose doesn't know we go."


G Rated: 
http://www.geocities.com/baddadraddad/4.html

Part Four: 
http://baddadraddad.topcities.com/4.html 

Photos: 
http://baddadraddad.topcities.com/photos.html

E-Mail 
J. R.: baddadraddad@yahoo.com

  

GLOSSARY
    
Abortion ... procedure to take away an unborn child.
Abruptly ... suddenly.
Adoption ... child gets new parent(s).
AIDS ... acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.
Alzeimers ... disease that causes one to forget much.
Anticipate ... expect, figure out.
Apologize ... say "I'm sorry."
Aromatic ... fragrance, smell.
Arousal ... sexual excitement.
Bad ... good, way cool.
Ba da bing ba da boom ... quick and easy.
Ba-dunka-dunk ... cute.
Beckon ... want, motion for.
Betray ... act against a friend's interests.
Bizatch ... butt.
Blemish ... pimple, zit.
Bloop ... a pop fly over the infield.
Blush ... face showing embarrassment.
Boner ... hard penis.
Bonergasm ... Jeff's term for an orgasm without ejaculation.
Booty ... 1) butt; 2) sex.
Bra ... garment for one's breasts.
Brainstorm ... idea.
Bromzilla ... crazy.
Bub ... pal.
Buns ... butt.
Butt ... rear end.
Buttocks ... butt.
Candor ... willing to say what on one's mind.
Captain Hook ... evil captain.
Captivate ... hold one's interest.
Carousing ... playing, partying.
Champagne ... a sparkling drink.
Child molester ... an adult who had sexual contact with a child.
Chitchat ... small talk.
Circumcised ... foreskin has been cut off.
Clandestine ... secretly bad.
Cleavage ... clothing taking the shape of one's body's.
Cocky ... reckless.
Coincident ... happen by chance.
Comfy ... comfortable.
Compassion ... caring with feeling.
Complicated ... full of twists and turns.
Console ... comfort.
Cringe ... flinch, shake.
Cuddle ... hold close, hug.
Cum ... 1) semen that squirts from a mature penis; 2) having an orgasm.
Cussing ... swearing, using bad words.
Deference ... respect.
Depressed ... feeling down.
Deterred ... stopped.
Dick ... penis, male sex organ.
Dilemma ... a no win situation.
Dip ... enter.
Diplomatic ... tactful.
Director ... person in charge.
Disrobe ... take off clothing.
Diss ... disrespect.
Distinguished ... great, prominent.
Diversion ... detour, sidetrack.
Douchbag ... jerk.
Dude ... guy.
Duped ... fooled.
Ecstatic ... extreme delight.
Ejaculate ... squirt semen from one's penis during orgasm.
Elegance ... gracefulness, charm.
Embarrass ... make a fool of.
Embrace ... hug.
Empathy ... sense a person's feelings.
Envy, envious ... jealous.
Erection ... hard penis.
Erotic ... sexual.
Escapade ... adventure.
Eternity ... forever.
Eureka ... have found, reacting with deep amazement.
Exquisite ... dainty, elegant.
Exultation ... joy, excitement.
Fiancee ... person one will marry.
Fidget ... be restless, as if one has ants in one's pants.
Fondle ... touch, feel up.
Flatter ... sweet-talk.
Flustered ... upset, anxious.
Frisky ... lively.
Frolic ... carefree play.
Gasser ... pass gas, fart.
Gay-bashing ... attacking boys that are sexually attracted to boys.
Genitalia, genitals ... sexual organs, private parts.
Gonna ... going to.
Googly-eyed ... eyes showing sexual feeling.
Goose ... touch someone's crotch.
Goose bumps ... pleasant chill from being touched a certain way.
Gotcha ... got you.
Gratify ... satisfy, appreciate.
Groin ... where one's genitals are.
HIV ... human immunodeficiency virus, AIDS virus.
Holy ... sacred, pure.
Homer ... home run.
Hooters ... breasts.
Horny ... wanting orgasm, itching for sex.
Humiliate ... disgrace, make fool of.
Hysterical ... out of control, out of one's wits.
Illegal ... against the law.
Imperative ... required, a must.
Inadequate ... not OK.
Individually ... one person at a time.
Insane ... crazy.
Inspire ... give zeal, motivate.
Instigator ... person who starts it or leads it.
Instinctive ... natural, innate.
Intimacy ... revealing one's real self.
Jack off ... rub genitals for sexual pleasure.
Jerk off ... rub genitals for sexual pleasure.
Jim jam ... semen.
Kewl ... cool, popular.
Knack ... know how.
La Jolla ... LAH HOY AH: a town on the Pacific coast in southern California.
Lather ... make soapy or creamy.
Lobotomy ... brain surgery, cut nerve fibers in brain for relief of a mental disorder.
Lunge ... jump.
Lusting ... having sex thoughts for someone.
Macho man ... tough guy.
Maintain ... keep up.
Manhood ... what men have that women don't.
Massage ... rub.
Masturbate ... rub genitals for sexual pleasure.
Matrimony ... marriage.
Melancholy ... sad.
Microscope ... tool used to see something small.
Migraine ... bad headache.
Momentum ... force, such as when you coast on a bicycle.
Mono ... infectious mononucleosis.
Mutilate ... destroy.
Naked ... unclothed.
Naturism ... life style with clothes off.
Nude ... no clothes on.
'Nuff ... enough.
Nurture ... loving touch.
Obstacle ... something in the way.
Orgasm ... moment of intense sexual pleasure.
Oucheewowa ... ouch and wow.
Passion ... deep feelings.
Pedophile ... an adult with sexual desire for a child.
Penetrate ... enter, go in.
Penis ... dick, male sexual organ.
Pervert ... sexually sick person.
Pet ... feel up.
Plagued ... bothered.
Plunges ... dives.
Pompoms ... breasts.
Pondering ... thinking about.
Pouch ... sack.
Predictor ... make something more likely to happen.
Pregnant ... with child.
Provocative ... stimulating.
P-U ... stink.
Quirk ... twist.
Rad ... radical.
Radiant ... glowing.
Reciprocate ... do the same for.
Reluctant ... not willing.
Reputation ... status.
Resurrect ... come back to life.
Ritual ... habit.
Rivalry ... competition.
Romance ... passion as on a date.
Runt ... little kid.
Sabotage ... booby trap, undermine.
Sarcastic ... scornful, phony words in anger.
Scamper ... run fast like a squirrel.
Scrotum ... the sack below one's penis.
Secluded ... hidden.
Seethe ... stew in anger.
Seizure ... convulsion, fit.
Self-assured ... sure of oneself.
Semen ... white fluid that carries sperm from a man's sack through his penis.
Seniorita ... girl (Spanish).
Sensual ... passionate.
Serenity ... peacefulness.
Sexatized ... itching for sex.
Shaft ... penis.
Simultaneous ... at the same time.
Sleek ... close fitting.
Smirk ... sly smile.
Smooch ... kiss long.
Snuggle ... lay close to, cuddle.
Spiritual ... in step with God: worship God alone, love others as one-self, use things rather than loving them.
Spontaneous ... gut reaction, go with one's feelings.
Stalking ... following someone while feeling sexual or evil.
Straight ... 1) not curved; 2) directly; 3) not gay, attracted to the opposite sex.
Strategy ... plan, tactic.
Strip ... take off clothing.
Surmise ... figure out.
Telepathically ... talk mind to mind.
Testicles ... balls, nuts, jewels.
Testimony ... one's story.
Timelessness ... nothing else matters.
Torment ... torture, terrible pain.
Trance ... daze, unaware.
Tribal chant ... sounds of an Indian dance.
Tush ... butt, rear end.
Ump ... umpire.
Unanimously ... all agree.
Undies ... underwear.
Uptight ... tense, not relaxed.
Vague ... not clear.
Vibes ... feelings.
Vitals ... sexual organs, private parts.
Volume ... loud.
Voluntary ... unpaid, do by choice.
Voluptuous ... big and beautiful.
Vulgar ... mean, obscene.
Waning ... fading, getting weaker.
Wank ... rub genitals for sexual pleasure.
Way cool ... popular, impressive.
Whatchu ... what you.
Wonker ... penis.
Wryly ... pretending to be serious.